First of all, I need to make one thing clear: I don’t like thinking of myself as old.  I believe the Buddha said it best thousands of years ago—What you think is what you become.  I’ve also read that the thoughts you conceive in your mind are tangible things and not entirely yours to keep secret and hold at bay.  Once you conceive of them, they are out there and the Cosmos runs with them.  (E² by Pam Grout) Apparently, the Universe is quite willing to oblige you and make your thoughts a reality.  It turns out that the overused statement “You are only as old as you feel” actually has some merit to it where the Cosmos is concerned.

Just because I don’t think of myself as old doesn’t mean I’m an age-denier.   It simply means that I don’t feel like my chronological age and because of that, it’s not something I usually dwell upon.  I say “usually” because there are some emotions that crop up on a fairly regular basis nowadays– gratitude, for instance. I find myself feeling grateful for being able to lift heavy objects.  I am thankful whenever I stoop down and am able to get right back up again.  After working in my garden in the hot sun for several hours, I say a prayer of thanks for the strength and endurance it takes to do so.  That kind of gratitude never came up when I was younger–not because I was an ingrate–but because the ability to do those things were a part of being young.  Just like being able to breathe, I never thought twice about my strength, agility, or endurance.  Nowadays I am grateful for all those things.  It’s not a matter of dwelling on your age, it’s a matter of acknowledging it.

I’m not sure when this started, but I find it amusing to test myself with silly physical challenges. Instead of sitting down to put on my socks and sneakers, I put them on standing up so I have to balance myself on one foot while doing so. The trick is, of course, not to fall over and it’s not as easy as it sounds. Whenever I squat down to pick something up, I challenge myself to get back up using the power of my legs without holding on to anything.  Sometimes I try to run up the stairs by twos the way I did my entire childhood life, skipping every other step to the top.  I did these things unconsciously as a younger person, but now I do them on purpose.

Chronological age informs life’s everyday decisions, regardless of whether you feel like you are that age, or not.  It influences what you wear, what you eat, and where you like to go.  Take clothing for an example.  I have never been a fashionista but in my younger years I made some uncomfortable fashion choices in the hopes of looking good enough to be noticed.  Let’s face it, I was looking for compliments along the lines of “You look sexy!”  Nowadays, I stay away from uncomfortable clothes at  all costs. If you were to look in my closet, you’d see that my wardrobe has distilled itself down to simple, comfortable clothing: jeans that have a little stretch in the weave, solid colored crew-neck shirts, and comfortable shoes.

And as far as compliments?  I’m a realist.  I’ll be happy with “You look nice.” Just don’t tell me I look old.