He was the exact opposite of her.  He was a master at the art of prioritizing, purging, and putting things back in their proper places.  His surroundings were neat and orderly. She drove him crazy.

It didn’t take long after he died for it all to fall apart.  She could never find the scissors or the tape or a pen that had enough ink and her response to that was to buy more pairs of scissors, more tape, more pens.  Drawers became hard to open.  All the closets filled.  At first, she had tried to maintain his way of doing things, but over time his sense of order dissipated like morning fog on a sun-filled day. 

There were times she went into the basement where all his tools lay helter-skelter and she felt like maybe she had betrayed him.  “I am so sorry,” she’d say out loud.  “I am sorry for being such a mess.”

 

Notes on Unclutter Your Life, an Internet Lecture

It’s called “the Ten-Minute Miracle”–an apt name for something that just might be the answer to my prayers.  It’s not a thing, it’s a plan–a method of uncluttering and organizing and the only tools you need are time, a change of attitude, and a little help from the Universe.

There are three types of clutter. Physical clutter is the most in-your-face, obvious kind of clutter. It doesn’t take much to imagine piles of papers and books on an office desk, closets and drawers which are burgeoning with belongings, or overstuffed attics, basements, and garages filled with things we might need someday.

Time clutter is a more insidious kind of clutter because you cannot see it. It contributes to the inability to use time to its fullest advantage.  Think of time clutter as a pile of interruptions which affects your ability to be productive. Oddly enough, even though technology has been a boon to our modern-day existence, it is one of the reasons some people have become less productive.  Think of all the time spent going through e-mails, checking Facebook, surfing the net, or shopping on-line.

Mind clutter is the nastiest form of clutter and in many regards, the hardest to get rid of.  Mind clutter is negativity, self-doubt, shame, and worry.  It’s all the feelings that overwhelm us.  Mind clutter is the guilt-trip voice in your head that beats you up over not being “good enough.” It’s the self-talk that tells you that you have failed because you are unable to meet those impossibly high standards that you set for yourself.  Controlling mind clutter is a lifelong struggle which can only begin with self-acceptance.  Things are neutral; they are neither good nor bad.  The same goes for our piles of clutter.  If you practice a philosophy of acceptance without judgment, you are on your way to taming mind clutter.

Underneath your clutter is YOU. Clutter is the physical manifestation of what is going on inside of you.  Clutter causes stress and leaves no room for growth and opportunity. Uncluttering your life is not simply the act of organizing, but has more to do with noticing your internal voices.  It takes courage to change because before you can work on the clutter on the outside, you need to acknowledge the clutter on the inside.

It took us a lifetime to collect all the stuff we have.  When we think of getting rid of it, we may feel overwhelmed and guilt-ridden.  Some things have emotional attachments. (I can’t get rid of my grandmother’s spoon collection.) Some things seem too useful to get rid of. (What if I need it again?) Those internal voices had a purpose at one time but we need to ask ourselves if those voices are still serving us.

All you need is ten minutes a day.  Choose to do one thing—preferably something you’ve been avoiding– just for ten minutes.  It’s important to tell yourself that whatever you get done in those ten minutes is OK.  You can work on something different each day or you can work on the same task in ten-minute blocks over a four-week period.

“If you’re willing to do something different, the Universe will reciprocate.” 

How you do anything is how you do everything.  Notice what you’re doing and how you’re feeling. Awareness will help you break the clutter cycle. Because we all work in patterns, it’s important to be mindful of your own patterns.

If you get stuck during the ten minute miracle and you feel yourself spiraling down, pause for a moment and hear what you’re thinking.  Ask yourself, “Is this serving me?”  If you practice this habit of awareness enough times, you will change.  You must abandon the habit of self-blame and choose the habit of self-care.  Self-blame and shame go hand-in-hand with clutter.  Nothing will change unless you dig deeper and think about what it all means to you. As you work, practice breathing in good feelings and breathing out bad feelings.  Because the beauty you create is an extension of yourself, you need to do it from a place of joy and harmony, and you need to do it at your own pace.

It is helpful to ask yourself, “Am I coming from a place of joy?”  You created the clutter for a reason and you need to ask yourself, “How is it serving me?”  The happier you get in other areas of your life, the less your stuff will mean to you.  A tougher question is “What is the clutter enabling me to avoid?”

If you are conflicted about getting rid of something, remember the 85% Rule:  85% of the time when you get rid of something, you never think about it again.  If you aren’t sure whether to throw something out or not, think about the cost of keeping it versus not keeping it.   Is it worth the 15% of the time you may regret your decision? Give yourself permission to make the wrong decision.  After all, making decisions is at the heart of clutter.

Hold yourself accountable for one ten-minute miracle a day and don’t go to bed without doing one.  Make a plan.  What will you focus on for the next four weeks?  Set realistic expectations.  First, bring like-things together in one place.  Sort first, then organize and purge.  The decision process is an emotional one so give yourself permission to own only the things you love and that give you pleasure.  Give yourself permission to own only what serves you.

A messy desk is a good place to start because it is a small area.  Start clearing it at one edge and once the space is cleared, keep the space sacred.   Get a box for what you want to save and remind yourself that once a space is cleared, it is sacred space, not to be cluttered again.

Clutter takes away joy and limits you.  If you practice being mindful of the habits that led to those piles and are aware of the thoughts and emotions that come to the surface as you are sorting and making decisions, it will help you keep clutter under control.  It is not a “once and done” process; it is a lifelong commitment to living joyfully.

 

(The Internet lecture is entitled, “Let Go and Live: Unclutter Your Life” by Jennifer Zweibel.  Two years ago it cost me $9.99 to download it—not a lot of money for the answer to your prayers.  What I’ve learned in the interim is that you actually have to put the suggestions into practice, otherwise you might as well flush down your ten dollar bill and call it a day.

 I think I will start tomorrow.)